BLOG: Do You Know a Dr. Schmuck?

This blog was written and provided by: Founder of CancerHawk.com, Robyn Stoller is a Patient Advocate and Champion. Just last year she lost her 47-year-old husband Alan to cancer, but has put their journey to work for others. At each crossroad—from finding the best doctors with the right mentality to accessing obscure (and amazing!) resources—Robyn's gift for research, networking and tireless advocacy and a lot of luck led to just the right places. Now, Robyn’s mission is to help patients and caregivers touched by cancer find the information they need to make informed choices. To get straight forward answers to the questions you haven't yet asked with a dose of humility and humor, visit www.CancerHawk.com…the REAL deal for cancer patients & their caregivers.

If you've been reading the CancerHawk blog, (http://www.cancerhawk.com/)  you know that I refer to our first Oncologist as Dr. Schmuck.  People are asking me who is Dr. Schmuck?

Here's my reply:

I think the question is better phrased as "WHAT is a Dr. Schmuck"' rather than "WHO is Dr. Schmuck?" 

I must let you know that our Dr. Schmuck did nothing medically wrong, unprofessional or dishonest.   He simply gave up on Alan after the first treatment regimen didn't produce the desired results.  

Dr. Schmuck told us from the very beginning that "Alan's cancer is treatable and the goal is to cure...as long as the chemo does what it's supposed to. And there is no reason to believe that the chemo won't work.  After all, treatment regimens are like cookbooks... you make a cake following the recipe, and most of the time, the cake comes out just fine."  This is a direct quote BTW.

I don't call him Dr. Schmuck because the chemo didn't do its job... or because he did anything wrong per se.  I call him Dr. Schmuck because he gave up on us, and got really pissed when we decided to go a different route.  Why would we stay with him knowing he didn't believe that Alan could overcome this cancer?    

Granted, the goal changed from 'curing' to 'extending life'.  But isn't it always about extending life?  New medical advancements are being made all the time.  The key is to be alive when the next advancement that will help you is discovered.  This is why I refer to our first Oncologist as Dr. Schmuck because he really is a schmuck.  (BTW, I should tell you when speaking of him, I typically use much harsher language, but didn't feel that was appropriate for the blog.)

The bottom line is that you have to believe... and you have to surround yourself with people who believe, and that includes your doctor.  A dear friend of ours personally knows someone whose cancer went into remission after the 5th different treatment regimen.  It's true that the chances of success decrease after each subsequent regimen attempt,  but so what?  You can still win the battle.   

You NEVER, NEVER,  NEVER  give up, and you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER stop trying.  As long as there is life, there is hope.  And please know that it's OK to get a 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 5th opinion.  Keep going till you get what you want... a doctor who will stop at nothing.

One other piece of advice... only work with an Oncologist who has either seen miracles happen (even just one is fine) or at least believes in miracles.  Had I known that our Dr. Schmuck did not believe in miracles, I would have insisted that we find a different Oncologist to manage our care.

Miracles happen all the time.  And although our story did not end the way I intended it to, I still believe many miracles happened along the way... after all, lots of beautiful memories were made in the extra 6-7 months that we had with Alan.  (see March 8 post & March 9 post about personalized oncology.)  And I am very grateful for that!